Skip to main content


If anybody asks you this question, you may go angry or livid because it sounds so insulting. Why? You are never the type of person that would have an affair outside your relationship/marriage. Well, that is because you do not know what an emotional affair is.
Emotional affair does not involve sex. It happens to people who are in courtship or engaged or married but very fond of somebody else who is not their spouse but if care is not taken and brake applied, it can lead to full blown sexual affair.
Emotional affair does not only happen to people in bad, unhappy marriages. It can happen to happy couples, morally sound people and deeply spiritual individuals who love God with all their hearts and hate sin. It can even happen to great men and women of God. How then do they fall into emotional affair?
Emotional affair is not easy to detect at the beginning. It all starts as plain, platonic friendship with the opposite sex whom you exchange ideas with and find admirable -that's all. The friend can be a colleague at work, a fellow worker at church, a course mate, the secretary to the boss at the office or the next door neighbour. They are someone you find attractive and enjoy talking to. If you treat them like you treat any normal friends with no strings attatched, there is no problem but if you are SECRETLY fond of them, there is a BIG problem.
Emotional affair starts rearing its ugly head if you are always eager to see them, anxious to hear from them and you feel sad if a day passes without getting in touch with them.
It escalates when you begin sharing deep personal issues, especially relational or marital problems and you find their words very soothing -it's like Valium, you can't sleep without it.
It progresses when there is subtle flirty compliments (e.g. "Each time I see you, I always feel like hugging you and staying there forever" or "Can I give you a peck please?"), sweet names calling and you never do anything to stop them infact, you love it and always look forward to hearing more from them.
You idolize them while comparing them with your spouse who always falls short. You see them as your comforter, healer and the only one who UNDERSTANDS you.
You begin to keep your conversations with them a secret from your spouse and deny every accusation of having any affair with them (since you are not having sex).
You have chemistry for them and always sexually charged when thinking about them or talking to them. Now, PULL A BREAK!!!
You are threading on a very dangerous path while consoling yourself that you are not having sex. Most people, especially good people, do not plan cheating or adultery, it "just" happened when all red flags are ignored.
Face the fact that your relationship or marriage is sick that is why you are attracted to someone else and fix the problem. If you do not deal with your relationship or marital issues, you will keep pursuing them and end up sleeping with them and that is the beginning of the end of your relationship or marriage.
Pull back from that person and avoid discussing anything personal with them henceforth.
Come clean to your spouse and let them know you are getting attracted to someone else and you need their help. (You don't need to give them the full detail of your attraction).
Stop all chats, be very polite with their calls or ignore their calls altogether if you get tempted to go back.
Understand why you fell into emotional affair and take precautions lest you fall into another one.
Know that you are human and it is very possible to feel attracted towards the opposite sex, just don't pursue your object of attraction.
Set boundaries. Do not entertain ungodly relationships.
Have a full understanding of emotional affair and protect your heart from being tempted.
Remember the bible says: "Let he that thinketh he standeth, take heed, lest he fall." Take charge of your life, do not leave your relationships to chance.

Popular posts from this blog

Sexual Assault: Catwoman defends herself against Batman

I decided to do this quick recount before it becomes over taking by event…ehm, before I forget to do so. No time to read over for errors. I'm serving it fresh and hot. On this fateful day, I had decided to join the coaster bus ride home, for two reasons, it’s got better seats and arrangement than the popular yellow buses (LT and Paragon), it would also arrive faster at my destination, albeit its more expensive than the yellow buses. I sat down, I can’t say in peace though, you can hardly be on the street of Lagos and expect that tranquility of Beverly Hills, as commuters strolled into the bus indecisively. It took a while before the bus got filled and ready to go. A young lady, had been in the bus for as long as I had been, some few seats behind me, surrounded by male commuters, she was the only female within 3 rows. The journey started slowly, because at this time of the day in Lagos everything goes slowly. The journey started uneventful, besides the occasional ranting of passeng…

Tupac Shakur’s stepfather up for parole after spending 30 years in prison

Mutulu Shakur (born Jeral Wayne Williams, August 8, 1950) is an American black nationalist and acupuncturist. He was a proponent of the Republic of New Afrika and a close friend of Geronimo Pratt.

Shakur is best known for his conviction on racketeering charges following the 1979 prison escape of Joanne Chesimard (Assata Shakur) and the infamous $1.6 million robbery of a Brinks armored truck in New York in which a guard and two police officers were killed. It was later found that an illegal project by the FBI, COINTELPRO, aimed at surveilling, infiltrating, discrediting, and neutralizing what they considered domestic political organizations, like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., had targeted Mutulu as well as many of his comrades.  Mutulu Shakur is the stepfather of deceased rapper Tupac Shakur. He was captured, convicted and sentenced to 60 years in prison for leading a revolutionary group responsible for a trail of bloodshed, including the slayings of an armed guard and two New York polic…

Senate Passes Bill Compelling Government to Buy Made-in-Nigeria Products

The Nigerian Senate took a great step in stabilizing the country's economy and protecting its locally made goods as it passed into law the Public Procurement Act 20‎07 (amendment) bill 2016. The law makes it mandatory for government agencies to purchase and patronize made-in-Nigeria goods. The law will not only promote locally made products, it will also help stabilize the economy.The Senate President while considering a report on the bill said that the latest move by the hollow chamber is a good move in the right direction as it will help "in stimulating our economy, [as] we all have a role to play to ensure that the executive complies especially in the area of giving first priority to locally-produced goods.
"This has helped many countries to develop when they had issues of downturn in their economy. I believe that having over N3trn available to stimulate local production going on now. "One of the things that we have done today is also trying to shorten the proc…